Oh my knees, why are you so weak?

It happened again last Monday night. The incident i dreaded so much. My right knee cap moved out of the socket but came straight back in.

The pain was so unbearable and traumatic.

The first time it happened was when I was 17 and doing stupid dance move, it was my left knee that time. Since it happened in Indonesia where people believe in traditional medicine, my parents and uncle took me to a traditional masseur. It was the most painful experience in my life. The masseur massaged the injured knee and applied a traditional balsam, which l learned years later  that it actually made the injury worse. The healing took a long time so my dad decided to take me to a doctor. The doctor said it nothing broke and the damage was on the ligament and cartilage. The doctor gave me some exercises to strengthen the knee and I could laugh again.

A lot of things happened to my life but my knee was fine until February, 2005. I went back to Indonesia for my sister wedding and one night I went clubbing with this boy I really fancied. I was dancing the night away when my left knee collapsed again. The worst thing was, since it was in a club, everyone thought I was drunk cause when it happened you just fell down because of the pain. Apparently I passed out for a few minutes and everyone thought I was drunk. I got up and felt the pain but I was having too much fun and so the other people around me. I went back home and fell asleep. The next morning I couldn’t move my knee and it was swollen badly. I called my best friend and after that called my mom. That time, my relationship with my mom wasn’t very good. She also didn’t like the guy I was seeing (and also my friends), so she was showing her concern by interrogating me, instead of showing empathy.  I was crying with pain and she was upset because it caused her trouble in addition to the headache from my sister’s wedding reception. She took me to a bone specialist doctor in one famous hospital in Jakarta. The doctor told us that I needed a surgery. God, I was so frightened. My mom did not believe the doctor and thought he only wanted a quick cash, because the x-ray showed no bones were broken. In Indonesia, the health care system is not excellent. There is no such thing as a free treatment. Therefore, doctors are more like businessmen. So surgery was out of the options, RICE (Rest, Ice, Compression and Elevation) and was the medicine. The healing process took about two weeks and was just in time with me going back to Australia.

Two months later, it happened again. I was out with my girlfriend Tana clubbing celebrating my new single life and we were on the dance floor when it happened. Again, everyone thought I was drunk. It was so awful and the security guy even told me off for sitting on the speaker. What made it worse, the club was in underground, so we had to climb up the stairs to get out and no one would help us. So I called the ex-boyfriend whose heart I just broke a couple of months before. He took me to my sister’s house and the healing process started all over again. My sister took me to the emergency room and again nothing was broken just a damage on the tissues. However, this time the GP in the hospital referred me to an orthopedic but disappointingly he could not give me an answer why it happened.

A year passed by and my knee was fine. A lot of things were going on in my life that year (2006), I quit my job because of stress and other things. I started to go to the gym regularly since I had a lot of free time. Then I joined a contemporary Indo dance group to perform at Indonesian Festival. I was enjoying it so much when my knees got aggressive and yes both knees moved when I was practicing with the girls. I collapsed and could not stand up at all. So I called my sister and my then boyfriend to take me home. It was the most horrifying experience so far. I could not move at all even to the toilet. That night when I needed to go to toilet I passed out and my then boyfriend panicked. In the morning, my sister called the ambulance and took me to the hospital. I stayed overnight in the hospital. They gave me crutches and the knees started to heal but slow this time. The damage must had been worse than previous incidents. I didn’t remember which knee, but one knee healed faster than the other. I also had to visit the physiotherapist regularly to strengthen the muscles. He told me my dancing career was over, sadly.

Now is 2009 so it’s been the longest time since that last incident. Well I had been doing yoga to strengthen the muscles and I haven’t done anything like dancing to put more risk to them (I miss dancing so bad though). However, last year I remember it almost happened but it didn’t. I could feel it moved but not to the point to where it used to be. I just have to be careful not to twist my body so much, but sometimes I just forget.

Well that what happened last Monday, I did a turn. Yeah I was walking and I turned around, however only my body that turned not yet my legs and the right knee cap moved and it was so painful. Ryan who never experienced me being like this before, was a bit confused of what to do. I said to him pick me up and put me down on the bench, after 5 minutes the initial pain was gone but I was still in shock. The knee went to be stiff but the pain was gone. Honestly, what was going through my mind that time was PARIS. I could not afford any injury. I was scared it would be swollen and my walk would be restricted. We got home and straight away did RICE and I fell asleep.

The next morning, my knee looked the same! I was so surprised no swelling at all. It was a bit stiff but I could walk okay. I was just so thankful, I didn’t know what happened, the damaged must not been so bad.

Well I’m fit and healthy for Paris 🙂 and I hope it will stay that way forever!